I remember one dad who made his 11-year old son dig his own grave in their backyard. No one remembers what wrong the son had done. Everyone remembers his dad's discipline. One mother beat and cursed her daughter shouting, "I wish you were never born."

Do you ever wonder if your discipline crosses the line? To find out, let's imagine a Discipline Stick. It's shaped like a ruler. It's effective and it doesn't spank hands.

One side of the Discipline Stick measures Kindness. It numbers from one to ten. The numbers from 1-3 represents Not kind. The grave-digging dad and the cursing mom disciplined in the Not Kind zone.

The opposite end of the Discipline Stick at 8, 9, and 10 measures Too Kind. Parents who spoil their kids with kindness create tyrants. Their actions are definitely, Too Kind.

Not Kind and Too Kind can be measured by:

The sound of your voice

The look on your face

The words you say

The emotions you feel

The actions you take

Not Kind: (numbers 1-3)

Speaks in an angry voice

Looks hateful

Feels rage

Says cruel things

Takes harmful actions

Too Kind: (numbers 8-10)

Speaks without authority

Looks beaten

Feels powerless

Says "Yes" when "No" is best

Forgets to be the parent

Just Right: (numbers 4-7)

Just Right sits in the middle of the Discipline Stick. It enshrines the wide middle road between Not Kind and Too Kind. To parent Just Right ask yourself this powerful question,

"How can I be both Kind and Firm?"

The Wrap-Up:

Child Protective Services took care of the grave digging dad.

The cursing mom kept cursing.

Her daughter vowed never to hit or curse at her children. She kept her vow.

If you discipline toward either extreme, you can change.

To parent Just Right before disciplining your kids, ask yourself this powerful question,

"How can I be both Kind and Firm?"

When you do, you'll be building character too.

Jean Tracy

Jean Tracy, MSS "Granny Jean" helps parents, teachers and counselors, raise awesome kids with solid characters. She graduated from Seattle University with a degree in education. She taught elementary school in Washington, California, and Connecticut.

Inspired by her desire to help the problem children in her classes, Jean returned to graduate school. She earned a Masters Degree in Social Work from Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania. Upon returning to her home in Washington State, she worked as a probation officer and then developed a private counseling practice with families and children that spanned 22 years. During this time she earned a Diplomate in Clinical Social Work.

When asked how she developed her parenting books and products, she tells a unique story. "When I was an intern counselor in an old elementary school in Pennsylvania, I shared my office with the janitor under the stairwell. When the bell rang, the children's pounding footsteps drowned out every counseling session I ever had. The office itself had buckets, mops, and assorted cans lining the walls. The light bulb overhead swung back and forth casting creepy shadows everywhere. My counseling tools were broken down toys in a huge vinyl bag. Those toys never seemed a good way to counsel kids.

When I started my counseling practice, I looked for better skills to understand the kids I counseled. Over the years I developed fun ways to communicate with kids, to help parents help their own kids, and build character too. My unique parenting books and products are the result."

Jean Tracy, "Granny Jean" is a wife, mother, and grandmother. She is also an award-winning Distinguished Toastmaster and professional speaker. Her presentations, include:

1. Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents 2. Discipline Styles, 3 to Lose and 1 to Choose 3. Family Meetings: This Special Formula Builds Character 4. Teach Your Child Success! 1 Simple Formula, 3 Easy Steps

Granny Jean's presentations are full of stories and interactive activities that will help you as parents, teachers, and counselors build solid character in your awesome children.