When I first started out in private practice twenty years ago, I would often here people say to me "Jeff, you are really good at working with teenagers."

And I would think to myself "Well, thanks, and I breathe well too."

I discovered that most therapists either do not like working with teenagers or are frightened of them or both.

That was fine with me because their fear and dislike really helped me to build my practice when I first started out.

Adolescence is not a disease

You will rarely hear or see me refer to the teenage years as adolescence. This is because the term adolescence makes the teenage years sound like a disease or condition that needs to be cured.

Teenagers hurt in all the same places as we do

Sometimes we forget that their struggles are real because the level of challenges they face are so different from the level of challenges we face on a daily basis.

Here is a useful way to look at this phenomenon - If you have a broken finger and I have a broken arm, my injury may be more severe, but your finger still hurts like crazy.

One piece of advice to take with you

I said this to a parent just today:

"The average teenager is 15 going on 25 and 15 going on 5, all at the same time."

Keep that notion in mind, and you will do well as the parent of a teenager.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com