Renovations for Improvement on Capital Hill Weve got to first do something about the Democrats and Republicans fighting like bobcats and wolverines. Here are some ideas for renovation and modification: The first thing we must do is to remove the division between parties. There will be no Republican Side and Democrat Side. That means removing the mystical barrier and seating the members of Congress from front to back with the younger being up front where they can learn and the older being placed at the back where they can sleep. Members of Congress will not be able to bring their families to Washington to live. The Congress will live in dorms during the week, two democrats and two democrats to a room so they can play cards while watching Fox News or Jeopardy. Like Benjamin Franklin suggested, members of Congress will not be paid. They will get free board and room and a per diem of $100.00 or $3000.00 per month when in session plus airfare home on the weekends. Congress will be in session only during March, June, September, and December on odd years and during February, May, August, and November on even years. There will be no congressional sessions on leap year. The president and cabinet will take the year off too. There will be no elections of minority or majority leaders in the Congress. The Vice President must be present at every session of the Senate. He will be able to say only two things. "Let's get going. I have an early Tee Time," and "Well, let's get out of here." He must go on vacation when the Senate is not in Session. His exorbitant right to cast a vote during a tie will be revoked. A tie means the bill didnt pass. The Speaker of the House will be selected the usual way. The Congress will not approve any member of the Presidents Cabinet that: 1.Is a complete nincompoop. 2.Knows nothing about the law and seldom lives it. 3.Does not have a high school education nor possesses a GED or thinks that Washington and Lincoln used electronic surveillance. No member of Congress will accept any money, gifts, grants, vacations, tickets to the Washington Senators, or any other item that could be pawned or sold or deposited into an account or hid in a safe of any kind. All lobbying sessions will be recorded and available to the public. Only Public Television will be allowed to record these sessions adding socialistic left-wing commentary as needed. Fox News will be allowed to make rebuttals on Sunday mornings before 6:00 a.m. Eastern Time. The Congress will pass a law that states: No war will be initiated that involves actual fighting. No member of government will be allowed to ever work again in any capacity other than his own bakery or delicatessen, or such approved by ACLU. He (or she) will receive no government pension if he ever goes back to work. No congressman will ever be allowed to serve more than 12 years. That could be a start! All we need is Georges approval to get things going. The End |
