Parents can play an important role supporting their childs piano lessons and their piano teacher. However, about a third of parents do too much and try to take over responsibility for their childs progress, which hinders their childs ability to develop positive learning skills on their own. In contrast, about a third of parents dont do enough, and fail to support and can get in the way of their childs learning. The remaining 1/3 gets it right.
Take the survey below to find out which group you fall into.
1. Regarding your childs progress, do youa) feel personally embarrassed if your child is not progressing as fast as you think they should;
b) want your child to do their best;
c) feel that it doesnt really matter how your child is doing, as lessons arent that important anyway.
2. When your childs lesson is over, do you
a) come into the lesson at least five minutes before it ends so you can quiz the teacher about how everything is going;
b) pick them up on time and be available in case the teacher needs to talk to you about your childs lesson;
c) try to get back to the studio within 15 minutes or so of the lessons end and figure that the teacher will come out and talk to you if anything really important is going.
3) Regarding bringing your childs music books to lessons, do you
a) Send in other music books you would prefer your child play from;
b) Make sure your child brings them to their lessons;
c) Figure that the teacher has extra books in case you forget to bring yours.
4) if your child is going to have to miss a lessons, do you
a) demand an immediate make-up lesson to get your moneys worth;
b) call the teacher ahead of time to try to reschedule if a space is available;
c) figure its no big deal and the teacher will figure out that your child isnt coming when they dont show up.
5) When your child plays in a recital, do you
a) cringe with embarrassment if they miss a note and admonish them later for embarrassing themselves;
b) encourage your child to do their best but have fun with it;
c) tell your child it isnt important enough to attend.
6) Regarding your childs weekly piano lesson, do you
a) insist that your child practice and know every song perfectly before the next lesson;
b) know what they should be practicing each week and keep track of whether they are doing it
c) dont sweat it if your child doesnt practice during the week.
7) Regarding the music that your childs piano teacher assigns, do you
a) want to be personally involved in picking the songs so that your child will play your favorites;
b) think your childs teacher is the best person to assign music that is appropriate for your childs skills;
c) try to avoid knowing what music your child is assigned.
8) Regarding your childs practice, do you
a) tell the teacher each week in front of your child that they arent practicing hard enough to make them feel ashamed and spur them on to greater effort;
b) make sure you are home enough so your child can set a pattern of routine practice and make consistent progress over time;
c) Feel that your child shouldnt have to practice if they dont want to.
9) Regarding your childs progress, do you
a) Compare how fast they are progressing to other children you know;
b) Encourage them to do their best and discuss their progress periodically with their teacher;
c) Believe that progress is all relative, so why worry about it.
10) If you are concerned that your child isnt doing something right, do you
a) discuss it with your teacher in front of your child so they will know you are monitoring their progress;
b) discuss it with your childs teacher, but not in front of your child;
c) dont worry because it is the teachers problem.
If you find that you have answered a to several of these questions, you may well be taking TOO much responsibility for your childs progress and can be viewing their progress as a reflection of your skills as a parent rather than your childs own development. You may need to mellow out a bit and realize that your childs piano lessons arent about you, but are a gift to them. If you find yourself answering c to several questions, you may well be abdicating part of your responsibility as a parent and may be missing out on a wonderful way to encourage your childs success. If you find that you have answered b to most questions, relax. You are doing well as a piano
