Are you listening to me? This is a common phrase heard between couples during a typical conversation.

On a larger scale, there are several cultures where people seem to talk all at the same time and you wonder if anyone is listening. It appears ridiculous to see two, three or more people talking at the same time to each other in a group. While it looks funny, there can be a communication lesson that can be learned here.

But more importantly, in a relationship constant communication is essential. In fact, it is vital not to keep on guessing what is in the mind of the other person. To build good listening skills in a relationship is a critical element in keeping communication open.

Everyone wants the other person to listen to him or her when hes doing the talking. But not everyone wants to listen. More often or not, we always have something to say and we like to look for an audience to listen to us.

However, being a good listener is not an accident. To build good listening skills in a relationship can be learned.

And being a good listener can make you a great conversationalist to your partner. This would add spice to the relationship and not make it boring. Learn to be an good active listener.

Here are some steps to being a good active listener:

1.Look at your partner when he or she is talking
This would give the impression that you are truly listening. Eye contact is crucial in active listening. Looking away or elsewhere gives the other a feeling that you are not interested in what he has to say.

2.Lean towards your spouse and listen intently
This action shows interest in what your spouse is saying. Body language, at times, says more than what you are actually saying. Smiling, and nodding in response encourages people to continue speaking, and it shows that your attention is focused on the conversation. Don't move around and say Go ahead I'm listening while you're fixing or working on something.

3.Save your comments at the end

While your spouse is speaking, don't butt in. You wouldn't want that to happen to you. Much as you have good suggestions, save it at the end. Don't think what to say next because while you're thinking, you're not listening. Another is jumping to another topic other than what your partner is saying. That will tell him or her that you are not interested in what he or she is saying. After he is done, say encouraging thoughts or suggestions and nothing negative.

4.Be patient when listening

Don't hurry up your spouse especially when he or she is excited to tell you a story, an experience or more so a problem Sometimes we may have many things to do but it is very important that you put all these aside first and give all your attention to your spouse. This act of love is one way of showing that your spouse is important. He will also feel your love and will be very happy and appreciate you more.

These steps help in improving communication. To build good listening skills in a relationship especially with love will ensure a solid partnership. As stated earlier, improved communication between spouses or partners is key to having that relationship always fresh and exciting.