When you think about the problems and frustrations in your life, how many of them have to do with other people? "I would never be critical if he would just shape up." "I Just can't seem to get along with my boss." "You just don't get it." "We argue and argue that's about it." "My ideas are never accepted."

Rudy was frustrated with his teenage son David. Whenever they were together there was a feeling of tension. Neither of them could relax. When Rudy made an appointment for a couching session, he had about given up. He didn't have clue as to how to how to develop harmony. Following our session with Rudy, the real cause of the problem emerged. With good intentions, Rudy was constantly critical of his son. Most of his comments, were corrections on how he should improve. So what happened? David reacted as you and would react when we are constantly criticized. He showed resentment. He became angry and tried to defend his position. He talked back and placed blame on his parents.

What to do? We suggested that Rudy try an exercise for one week. We asked him to refrain from criticizing anyone or anything for one week and report to us the results at our next session.

Rudy told us this. "David was in his room when I knocked on his door. When he answered, I noticed he was defensive immediately and was waiting for a critical remark." I said, "Hi David how as your day?" How about a round of golf after dinner?" There was a lot of silence until he realized no critical remarks were coming. When David noticed the positive results, he felt guilty for letting this go on for so long. Needless to say the relationship improved.

Sound too simple. It is simple and it works. Do you want more harmony in your relationships? Try taking your mind off of judgment. Ask yourself what do I like or admire about my wife, husband, boss, son or daughter? Now instead of criticism, pay a sincere compliment. It could change your life as well as the lives of others.

Why not give it a try. No critical remarks for one week. If you forget and revert to being the critic don't beat yourself up. Start again from that point. Its worth the effort.

"Forget mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it. Today is your day to improve your relationships." -- Anon